Reflection
01
01
The possibility of aging well together.
A conscious traveler is not only aware of what’s happening outside, but also inside in the visceral, emotional, mental, and spiritual sense of being.
A background
of the months before Denmark
of the months before Denmark
I did not think I would be in Copenhagen.
After almost a hundred phone calls and emails, getting covid, an emergency flight right after that, the consulate’s postponement of paperwork processing which put my trip to an indeterminate delay, not to mention an unexpected romance that sandwiched them all and more, my arrival felt unreal. As if this was not supposed to happen because everything had been barricading my voyage for months.
In fact, the whole 2022 felt fictitious. My year has been a constant renewal of self, habits, and spaces. I was in a continual awe for the novelty that unfolded, yet wrapped inside was the deep longing for ground and roots. I craved to familiarize, to belong, the ease of knowing one’s streets and people that deepened irreplaceably by time.
After almost a hundred phone calls and emails, getting covid, an emergency flight right after that, the consulate’s postponement of paperwork processing which put my trip to an indeterminate delay, not to mention an unexpected romance that sandwiched them all and more, my arrival felt unreal. As if this was not supposed to happen because everything had been barricading my voyage for months.
In fact, the whole 2022 felt fictitious. My year has been a constant renewal of self, habits, and spaces. I was in a continual awe for the novelty that unfolded, yet wrapped inside was the deep longing for ground and roots. I craved to familiarize, to belong, the ease of knowing one’s streets and people that deepened irreplaceably by time.
With such an emotional backdrop, when I walked across The King’s Garden to SMK the evening after my arrival at Copenhagen, I was still in a haze of my whereabouts.
The walk was like unveiling a figment of fantasy dormant in my psyche; the idyllic scene of couples, friends, and families laying on the summer grass, where laughter and bubbly chatters hung across the evening air like the softest silk. A group of 2 dozen people sat next to a giant bush wall all had colorful, tiny cone hats that sat funny on their adult heads. People brought food, picnic cloth, drinks, and dressed in pretty outfits. They touched each other generously, and if a couple decided to make out in the middle of the lawn, caressing each other’s butt with explicit sensuality, the park is still rated family-friendly and everyone minds their own affair. Although such a description might sound cliche for some (an Italian friend commented on my excitement, Well, it’s even more intimate in the rest of Europe), the quality of expressive togetherness thus prettiness found here was unequaled to my memory.
Closer to the exit gate, a melody of female laughter enchanted me. There sat a group of middle-aged women who roared and vivified. They were engulfed in a symphony of storytelling, each person chimed in their personal notes in utter immersion. I smiled reflexively at the sight, wishing the image would streamline into my river of consciousness and flow into the ocean of humanity as a possibility for all who love and struggle to be loved, for us right now until old age: The possibility of aging well together.
The walk was like unveiling a figment of fantasy dormant in my psyche; the idyllic scene of couples, friends, and families laying on the summer grass, where laughter and bubbly chatters hung across the evening air like the softest silk. A group of 2 dozen people sat next to a giant bush wall all had colorful, tiny cone hats that sat funny on their adult heads. People brought food, picnic cloth, drinks, and dressed in pretty outfits. They touched each other generously, and if a couple decided to make out in the middle of the lawn, caressing each other’s butt with explicit sensuality, the park is still rated family-friendly and everyone minds their own affair. Although such a description might sound cliche for some (an Italian friend commented on my excitement, Well, it’s even more intimate in the rest of Europe), the quality of expressive togetherness thus prettiness found here was unequaled to my memory.
Closer to the exit gate, a melody of female laughter enchanted me. There sat a group of middle-aged women who roared and vivified. They were engulfed in a symphony of storytelling, each person chimed in their personal notes in utter immersion. I smiled reflexively at the sight, wishing the image would streamline into my river of consciousness and flow into the ocean of humanity as a possibility for all who love and struggle to be loved, for us right now until old age: The possibility of aging well together.
The
possibility
of
togetherness.
From the city planning point of view, urbanists are looking into creative practices that vivify the city in a sustainable manner (Doumpa, 2014). Festivals, markets, food vendings, pleasant architecture, green areas, fountains, public performances, etc. are recognized as connectors that prompt people to engage in the public sphere.
As I travel around Copenhagen and Aarhus, I start to grasp how intentional Denmark is in terms of designing an ecology that facilitates togetherness. There are festivals hosted by a wide range of stakeholders, from national museums and libraries to alternative communities, organizations, and private companies year-round.
That evening upon my arrival at Copenhagen, I went to a public event called Mystique, hosted by the biggest national art museum, SMK. The museum makes a point to throw 8 big events every year, all of which are free to encourage the public to gather, watch and discourse.
Before SMK’s entrance gate was a forest of bicycles. People sat on the museum’s large staircases facing a water fountain where kids were jumping and wetting their clothes without parental supervision. Some adults had their chairs inside the fountain to dip their feet in the water while the Sun glazed the evening golden. What a sight. Such an idyllic scene reinforces the national narrative of the happy, benevolent Danish.
As I travel around Copenhagen and Aarhus, I start to grasp how intentional Denmark is in terms of designing an ecology that facilitates togetherness. There are festivals hosted by a wide range of stakeholders, from national museums and libraries to alternative communities, organizations, and private companies year-round.
That evening upon my arrival at Copenhagen, I went to a public event called Mystique, hosted by the biggest national art museum, SMK. The museum makes a point to throw 8 big events every year, all of which are free to encourage the public to gather, watch and discourse.
Before SMK’s entrance gate was a forest of bicycles. People sat on the museum’s large staircases facing a water fountain where kids were jumping and wetting their clothes without parental supervision. Some adults had their chairs inside the fountain to dip their feet in the water while the Sun glazed the evening golden. What a sight. Such an idyllic scene reinforces the national narrative of the happy, benevolent Danish.
Gehl People (2004, p.28) describe a “Good City” as one where people want to spend time hanging out in public. Such a society has a wide range of necessary and attractive optional activities which entice people to use the cityscape. Where there are dynamic gatherings, there are people to meet, interact, and speak to. “The city becomes a lively and wonderful city. A people city.”
With such values, ecological designs that make use of an external stimulus in order to prompt “strangers to talk to strangers as if they knew each other” is called triangulation (Whyte, 1988, p.154), a mechanism of building collective intimacy.
I think of it like lighting a candle. The candle light includes certain people inside a circle that’s distinct from the ones outside. Such a physical parameter, although fuzzy and faint, creates a sense of togetherness that lends people the language to relate and converse.
Take busking for example, when a person plays music at a plaza, those who come to witness the playing is included inside the candle light. The busker is the light source which allows her watchers to share a common experience that acts as a vantage point to connect with each other. A watcher can make a remark and strike up a conversation, or he can dance and invite others to follow, but there needs to be a common merging point where the mergers can choose to grow the seed of intimacy or not.
When we zoom out, one candle doesn’t make a significant change but a city that’s filled with candles means a public with many opportunities to merge and seed intimacy. A city where people can start singing and relating on the street denotes a place of social inclusion, self expression, accessibility, and trust.
At this merging point where the ground is fertile, a seed of intimacy is sown yet it needs further intimate interactions to sprout. Having many candles is the starting point, the next step for intimacy is understanding the nutrients for a healthy, growing intimate relationship.
With such values, ecological designs that make use of an external stimulus in order to prompt “strangers to talk to strangers as if they knew each other” is called triangulation (Whyte, 1988, p.154), a mechanism of building collective intimacy.
I think of it like lighting a candle. The candle light includes certain people inside a circle that’s distinct from the ones outside. Such a physical parameter, although fuzzy and faint, creates a sense of togetherness that lends people the language to relate and converse.
Take busking for example, when a person plays music at a plaza, those who come to witness the playing is included inside the candle light. The busker is the light source which allows her watchers to share a common experience that acts as a vantage point to connect with each other. A watcher can make a remark and strike up a conversation, or he can dance and invite others to follow, but there needs to be a common merging point where the mergers can choose to grow the seed of intimacy or not.
When we zoom out, one candle doesn’t make a significant change but a city that’s filled with candles means a public with many opportunities to merge and seed intimacy. A city where people can start singing and relating on the street denotes a place of social inclusion, self expression, accessibility, and trust.
At this merging point where the ground is fertile, a seed of intimacy is sown yet it needs further intimate interactions to sprout. Having many candles is the starting point, the next step for intimacy is understanding the nutrients for a healthy, growing intimate relationship.